Interesting
Lady
Me
[2:19 PM]:
apparently
she had some formaldehyde in her office furniture and she's allergic to it
Me
[2:20 PM]:
so
she researched how to get rid of it and decided to buy a bunch of these plants
that absorb it and clean the air
Me
[2:20 PM]:
so
she has all these plants in her office
Me
[2:20 PM]:
well
then she used miracle grow potting soil for her plants
Me
[2:20 PM]:
which
brought fungus gnats with it
Me
[2:20 PM]:
so
now she has all these gnats in her office because of her plants because of her
allergies
Me
[2:21 PM]:
so
she keeps the office door closed so that she doesn't let them out into the rest
of the office
Me
[2:21 PM]:
and
then she researched on how to kill the gnats
Me
[2:21 PM]:
apparently
you top the soil with sand
Me
[2:21 PM]:
and
it kills the larva
Me
[2:21 PM]:
and
she has all these excel spreadsheets and charts
Me
[2:21 PM]:
of
gnats killed
Me
[2:21 PM]:
gnats
born
Me
[2:21 PM]:
and
what their avg life is and all that
Me
[2:22 PM]:
needless
to say we moved the meeting to a conference room
Kevin
vs. the flies
Me
[10:13 AM]:
what
was the coworker doing
Friend
[10:15 AM]:
oh
yeah, sorry
Friend
[10:15 AM]:
haha,
well there's been this fly flying around all day
Friend
[10:15 AM]:
buzzing
around and annoying everyone
Friend
[10:16 AM]:
and
I guess it landed in his lunch, so he smashed it somehow
Friend
[10:16 AM]:
and
had a dead fly in his lunch
Friend
[10:16 AM]:
so
he had to throw that away
Friend
[10:16 AM]:
but
then there was another fly
Friend
[10:16 AM]:
so
he somehow smashed that one with a rolled up piece of paper
Friend
[10:16 AM]:
and
he thought he was rid of the fly problem
Friend
[10:16 AM]:
and
then ANOTHER one appears
Friend
[10:16 AM]:
so
he FLIPS OUT!
Friend
[10:17 AM]:
WHERE
ARE THESE STUPID FLIES COMING FROM
Friend
[10:17 AM]:
grabs
a huge poster off the wall, rolls it up, and starts swinging baseball style all
over the room
Friend
[10:17 AM]:
jumping
up and down
Friend
[10:17 AM]:
battling
this fly
Friend
[10:17 AM]:
I
think he did finally get it
Friend
[10:17 AM]:
haha,
I was laughing at him the whole time
Friend
[2:01 PM]:
ANOTHER
FLY!
Friend
[2:01 PM]:
YES!
Friend
[2:01 PM]:
HE'S
AT IT AGAIN!
Me
[2:01 PM]:
dude
no way
Me
[2:01 PM]:
you're
kidding right
Me
[2:01 PM]:
#4?
Friend
[2:01 PM]:
DEAD
SERIOUS!
Me
[2:01 PM]:
this
guy is dillusional
Friend
[2:01 PM]:
omg
Friend
[2:02 PM]:
it
hurts
Friend
[2:02 PM]:
he's
a lunatic
Friend
[2:02 PM]:
I
don't even see the fly
Me
[2:02 PM]:
he
pulled a poster off the wall to attack one
Friend
[2:02 PM]:
but
he claims it's there
Friend
[2:02 PM]:
YES!
Me
[2:02 PM]:
dude
this guy is crazy
Me
[2:02 PM]:
look
at what corporate does to you
Me
[2:02 PM]:
if
you're bored for 30 years
Me
[2:02 PM]:
you
start seeing things
Me
[2:02 PM]:
and
go nuts
Friend
[2:03 PM]:
lol
Friend
[2:03 PM]:
seriously
Friend
[2:03 PM]:
he's
just sitting there quietly, and then all of a sudden he jumps up, grabs a
poster and starts flailing around
Ken in the closet
Me
[10:41 AM]:
so
my lead's cell rings
Me
[10:42 AM]:
playing
this pr0n sounding music
Me
[10:42 AM]:
he
goes into this closet to answer it
Me
[10:42 AM]:
door
shut, lights off
Friend
[10:43 AM]:
DUDE!
Friend
[10:43 AM]:
what
the heck?
Me
[10:43 AM]:
haha
I know
Me
[10:43 AM]:
earlier
I come back from the bathroom
Me
[10:43 AM]:
and
he comes walking out of this dark closet
Me
[10:44 AM]:
and
I just started laughing
Me
[10:44 AM]:
like
really loud
Friend
[10:44 AM]:
dude,
that's scary
Friend
[10:44 AM]:
what's
he doing in there?
Me
[10:44 AM]:
and
said "dude I do NOT want to know what was going on in there"
Friend
[10:44 AM]:
haha
wow
Me
[10:44 AM]:
I
can hear him chatting away
Me
[10:44 AM]:
it's
obviously one of his chicks
Friend
[10:44 AM]:
he
probably just laughed Madden style
Me
[10:50 AM]:
HAHA
DUDE
Me
[10:50 AM]:
YES
Me
[10:50 AM]:
2
GUYS JUST WALKED IN
Me
[10:50 AM]:
this
guy showing the other around walks up saying "and this is our archive room..."
Me
[10:50 AM]:
opens
the door
Me
[10:50 AM]:
LOL
Me
[10:50 AM]:
YES
Friend
[10:50 AM]:
HAHA!
Friend
[10:50 AM]:
WOW!
Friend
[10:50 AM]:
perfect
Friend
[10:50 AM]:
that's
awesome
Me
[10:50 AM]:
and
I am laughing
Me
[10:50 AM]:
then
he's like "whoa what are you doing in here"
Me
[10:50 AM]:
"I'm
on the phone can you leave"
Me
[10:50 AM]:
"oh
ok, guess he's being secretive in here"
Friend
[10:51 AM]:
haha,
weird dude
Me
[10:51 AM]:
someone
else came by looking for him, I told them he's in the closet behind me
Me
[10:51 AM]:
and
the guy is like "what is that crazy man doing in there" and walks
away
Me [10:52 AM]:
then he finally walks out again right as one of the previous guys is standing there and they tell him 'looks like you're finally out of the closet' LOL
Who
builds the products?
Friend
[12:44 PM]:
So
I took over as the engineer for this area that is basically a problem area for the
whole production
Friend
[12:44 PM]:
the
managers are always complaining about never getting their parts on time from
these guys etc...
Friend
[12:45 PM]:
so
I just walked over to talk to the lead, and he wasn't there but of the 5 guys
in the area...
Friend
[12:45 PM]:
1
was playing solitaire, 1 was taking a nap with his feet on the desk, 1 was
reading the newspaper, 1 was watching youtube videos and 1 was on the phone
(may or may not be work related)
Me
[12:45 PM]:
lol
yes!
Me
[12:45 PM]:
corporate!
Friend
[12:46 PM]:
WHO
BUILDS THE PRODUCTS?!?!?!!?
Who
builds the products? #(2)
Friend
[9:02 AM]:
wow,
this lady in our area is on her phone like 4 hours a day I swear
Friend
[9:02 AM]:
talking
about random stuff
Friend
[9:02 AM]:
not
work related at all
Friend
[9:03 AM]:
and
she talks so loud
Friend
[9:03 AM]:
and
laughs
Friend
[9:03 AM]:
sexual
inuendos, you name it
Friend
[9:20 AM]:
seriously,
she's still on the phone...
Friend
[9:20 AM]:
wow
Friend
[9:34 AM]:
...still
talking......
Friend
[9:48 AM]:
she's
finally off
Friend
[9:48 AM]:
but
seriously, it was like 30-40 minutes
Friend
[9:48 AM]:
and
this happens all the time
Friend
[9:48 AM]:
ALL
THE TIME
Friend
[9:48 AM]:
WHO
BUILDS THE PRODUCTS?
Who
builds the products? #(3)
Me
[9:39 AM]:
did
you hear about the guys throwing knives
Me
[9:40 AM]:
apparently
they used their company points to buy some souvenir knives
Me
[9:40 AM]:
and
then started throwing them and making bets
Me
[9:40 AM]:
and
somehow someway a dude got a knife through his foot
Me
[9:40 AM]:
lol
Friend
[9:40 AM]:
wow,
that's surprising
Friend
[9:40 AM]:
people
throwing knives around the factory floor
Friend
[9:40 AM]:
and
someone gets hurt?
Friend
[9:40 AM]:
weird...
Friend
[9:40 AM]:
haha,
WOW DUDE!
Friend
[9:41 AM]:
what
were they thinking
Me
[9:41 AM]:
WHO
BUILDS THE PRODUCTS
Friend
[9:41 AM]:
EXACTLY!
Hungry
Engineer
Me
[12:20 PM]:
so
I heard a story at lunch about this big engineer
Me
[12:20 PM]:
he
used to eat any food he saw lying around
Me
[12:20 PM]:
one
day this guy had his lunch opened on his desk
Me
[12:20 PM]:
and
this big guy reaches right into his lunch bag
Me
[12:20 PM]:
pulls
out a bag of chips
Me
[12:20 PM]:
opens
them
Me
[12:20 PM]:
and
eats the whole thing
Me
[12:20 PM]:
w/o
asking
Me
[12:20 PM]:
right
in front of this guy
Friend
[12:20 PM]:
DUDE!
Me
[12:20 PM]:
he
had no idea what to do or say lol
Friend
[12:20 PM]:
wow
Me
[12:20 PM]:
what
would you even say
Friend
[12:20 PM]:
seriously,
I have no idea
Bathroom
Farts
Me
[9:17 AM]:
something
amazing just happened in the bathroom haha
Me
[9:17 AM]:
I'm
laughing so hard out loud
Friend
[9:18 AM]:
do
tell
Me
[9:18 AM]:
so
this dude comes in all dressed up with his shoes that sound like high
heels when he walks
Me
[9:18 AM]:
and
he rolls up in the stall next to me
Me
[9:18 AM]:
at
the urinal
Me
[9:18 AM]:
and
just starts ripping farts
Me
[9:18 AM]:
loudly
Me
[9:18 AM]:
out
of control
Friend
[9:18 AM]:
LOL
Me
[9:18 AM]:
and
I just start laughing
Friend
[9:18 AM]:
YES!
Friend
[9:18 AM]:
I
love it!
Friend
[9:19 AM]:
did
you or he say anything?
Me
[9:20 AM]:
no
words were said
Me
[9:20 AM]:
I
was just laughing
Me
[9:20 AM]:
and
I'm still laughing
Me
[9:20 AM]:
I
had to tell my lead the story
Me
[9:20 AM]:
because
I was laughing so hard
Friend
[9:20 AM]:
haha,
wow
The
Tube Man
Friend
[12:58 PM]:
wow,
that was awkward...
Friend
[12:58 PM]:
some
dude came over with this long tube
Friend
[12:58 PM]:
and
starts sticking it between my back and the chair
Friend
[12:58 PM]:
rolling
it up and down my back
Me
[12:58 PM]:
WTH
Friend
[12:58 PM]:
making
strange noises
Me
[12:58 PM]:
dude
this is a joke right lol
Friend
[12:58 PM]:
I'm
dead serious
Me
[12:59 PM]:
some
guy?
Me
[12:59 PM]:
do
you know him?
Friend
[12:59 PM]:
haha,
well he used to be in our group so I do know him
Friend
[12:59 PM]:
but
he moved a while ago
Friend
[12:59 PM]:
so
I didn't know who it was at first
The
Cougher
Friend
[12:56 PM]:
dude,
we had the "cougher" in the bathroom
Friend
[12:57 PM]:
[
] [x] [ ] [ ] [x] [ ]
Friend
[12:57 PM]:
so
there are 6 stalls and 2 people
Friend
[12:57 PM]:
yet
none are usable now
Friend
[12:57 PM]:
but
this guy, he sounds like he's constantly clearing his throat
Friend
[12:57 PM]:
and
forcibly coughing
Friend
[12:57 PM]:
the
whole time he's taking a crap
Friend
[12:58 PM]:
it's
really annoying
Friend
[12:58 PM]:
b/c
he coughs REALLY loud
Me
[12:59 PM]:
haha
YES
Me
[12:59 PM]:
I
love the layout you drew on there
Angry
Voicemail
Me
[12:59 PM]:
my
lead is yelling at his voicemail to shut up
Me
[12:59 PM]:
for
like 5 minutes straight
Me
[12:59 PM]:
and
just swearing and yelling at it
Me
[12:59 PM]:
"SHUT
UP, JUST SHUT UP, WOULD YOU SHUT THE **** UP! WOW! SHUT UP! WOW YOU DON'T EVEN
LEAVE A NUMBER! NO WONDER WE'RE GOING BROKE"
Friend
[1:00 PM]:
LOL
Friend
[1:00 PM]:
dude,
that's amazing
A
couple months behind
Me
[11:29 AM]:
so
a week ago I asked about the status of my educational re-imbursement and today I
finally got a response
Me
[11:29 AM]:
and
here's what it says
Me
[11:29 AM]:
Me,
Unfortunately
I'm running a couple months behind, so it will be a little bit longer.
Sorry for the inconvenience, but the volume is very heavy this time of year and
I'm doing the best I can to keep on top of it. Hopefully it won't be too much
longer, but I appreciate your patience.
Me
[11:29 AM]:
HOW
DO YOU RUN A COUPLE MONTHS BEHIND?
Me
[11:29 AM]:
WHO
BUILDS THE PRODUCTS?
Friend
[11:42 AM]:
dude,
a couple months behind?
Me
[11:43 AM]:
I
know!
Me
[11:43 AM]:
how
do you fall a couple months behind
Me
[11:43 AM]:
maybe
a couple hours
Me
[11:43 AM]:
or
maybe a couple days at most
Me
[11:43 AM]:
BUT
MONTHS?
Friend
[11:43 AM]:
yeah
that's pretty intense
Typical
Corporate
Friend [12:21 PM]:
dude, we shouldn't be surprised that
something at Corporate is months behind
Friend [12:21 PM]:
look at the latest product
Me [12:21 PM]:
haha
Friend [12:21 PM]:
we're talking years
Me [12:21 PM]:
dude they have been working on that one
for so many years now
Me [12:21 PM]:
my dad said he was working on it back
in the 90's
Me [12:22 PM]:
trying to teach them how to produce it
Me [12:22 PM]:
and how to actually perform work
Friend [12:22 PM]:
wow
Friend [12:22 PM]:
haha yeah
Me [12:22 PM]:
apparently they are way overpaid
because they have zero skills or knowledge and sit on their butts all day
Me [12:22 PM]:
pretty much how my dad described it
Me [12:22 PM]:
and he listed several examples
Me [12:22 PM]:
of meetings with 30+ people in them
where nothing gets accomplished
Friend [12:22 PM]:
yeah that sounds about right
Me [12:23 PM]:
or that part in the bay
Me [12:23 PM]:
my dad said one day they asked him to
come look at it to give an opinion about something
Me [12:23 PM]:
and he shows up and like 50 engineers
are all standing around it just staring at it with their hands in their pockets
Me [12:23 PM]:
and he thought it was a tour or
something
Me [12:23 PM]:
haha
Friend [12:23 PM]:
lol YES!
Friend [12:23 PM]:
I saw some people doing that last
Friday
Friend [12:23 PM]:
it was amazing
Friend [12:23 PM]:
they had a table with 3 guys sitting
taking notes, some guy with a huge video camera...
Friend [12:24 PM]:
everything was taped off and there were
like 25 people just standing around
Friend [12:24 PM]:
doing nothing
Friend [12:24 PM]:
it was quite an operation
Friend [12:24 PM]:
they were probably looking at the same
thing your dad was looking at 10 years ago
Friend [12:25 PM]:
they still haven't figured out how to
fix it
Me [12:25 PM]:
haha yes!
Me [12:25 PM]:
why are they even looking at that
prototype still?
Me [12:25 PM]:
the product is being built!
Friend [12:25 PM]:
haha I know!
Me [12:25 PM]:
there should be nothing left to study
lol
Friend [12:25 PM]:
you would think so
Hiccupws!
Friend
[9:14 AM]:
GOOD
GOD ME!
Friend
[9:14 AM]:
HICCUPWS!
Friend
[9:14 AM]:
CRAP
Me
[9:14 AM]:
HICCUPWS
Friend
[9:14 AM]:
there's
no W in hiccups!
Friend
[9:14 AM]:
I
hiccupped as I was typing that
Friend
[9:14 AM]:
Lol
Me
[10:10 AM]:
so
I IM'd my uncle who's a third level manager
Me
[10:10 AM]:
and
told him about my nasty fart
Me
[10:11 AM]:
because
my family is weird like that
Me
[10:11 AM]:
and
we always have farting competitions when we go camping
Me
[10:11 AM]:
and
he's like "thank you for sharing that with my entire staff at my staff
meeting"
Friend
[10:11 AM]:
YES!
Me
[10:11 AM]:
rofl
Friend
[10:11 AM]:
that's
amazing!
Me
[10:11 AM]:
dude
that is no good
Coming
out of the closet
Me
[11:16 AM]:
dude
my lead is in the closet again on the phone
Me
[11:16 AM]:
haha
Me
[11:47 AM]:
so
this guy was waiting for my lead to get out of the closet
Me
[11:47 AM]:
so
he could talk to him
Me
[11:47 AM]:
and
my lead walks out and this guy is like "so I see you've finally come out
of the closet, is that why your wife left you"
Me
[11:47 AM]:
my
lead looked so upset and disappointed
Napping
in the conference room
Friend
[12:09 PM]:
dude,
so after some of the people in my group were heading to a meeting so I was
walking with them
Friend
[12:09 PM]:
they
get to the conference room and they go in and turn the lights on
Friend
[12:09 PM]:
and
there is this super old guy sleeping in a chair against the wall
Me
[12:09 PM]:
haha
yes!
Me
[12:09 PM]:
that's
awesome
Friend
[12:09 PM]:
even
after they turned the light on he was sleeping
Me
[12:09 PM]:
dude
last summer a similar thing happened to me
Me
[12:10 PM]:
my
lead and I were scoping out a job in the bldg
Me
[12:10 PM]:
and
we had to nearly break into this dark office because no one was answering the
door when we knocked
Me
[12:10 PM]:
and
when we get in there it's all dark and you can't see
Me
[12:10 PM]:
found
the lights and turned them on
Me
[12:10 PM]:
and
some guy is sleeping at his desk
Me
[12:10 PM]:
like
chair leaned back and feet up on desk
Me
[12:11 PM]:
full
blown snoring
Me
[12:11 PM]:
so
many epic stories lol
Me
[12:11 PM]:
WHO BUILDS THE PRODUCTS?
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